City & Soul
“Most of the world’s greatest cities have grown haphazardly, little by little, in response to the needs of the moment; very rarely is a city planned for the remote future.”- Carl Sagan in Cosmos
As a lifelong Edmontonian, I can attest that Edmonton looks very different from when I was growing up in the 80s and 90s. I love hearing returning visitors' observations about how the cityscape has evolved when they travel into the city.
We used to have a big green bridge. We now have a skyscraper, and we still have a random baseball bat along 118th Avenue. Someone built a massive arena downtown, and we no longer have the rat hole a few blocks west of it.
Ask an Edmontonian what the rat hole was.
Places change, and so do we.
The Carl Sagan quote is a great description of how my spirituality has evolved. Haphazardly is a wonderful descriptor. I think, if we’re honest, we can look back and give a nod of recognition to the spiritual civil engineering work we’ve all experienced. I’m different now than I was twenty years ago. If my soul were a city, I’ve gone ahead and demolished a number of highrises, kept a few, and fortified some foundations. I still have some random quirks in the paths of my thought patterns.
I like what the American Franciscan Richard Rohr has noted: in the Christian tradition, spiritual growth is like a tricycle with three wheels. Scripture and traditions make up the back two wheels, and our experience is the front wheel that gives direction. Some argue they are guided only by scripture or tradition, but I respectfully disagree. Our souls are continually being shaped.
Our experience in the moment matters, and it’s a difficult stage because we’re often judged in the moment when we need to make a decision. Everyone has an opinion on what’s best for us, and at the same time, we have our own internal pressure to deal with because we don’t want to make mistakes either. We’re just haphazardly doing the best we can!
But we can pay close attention to what matters most to us now and humbly move forward as best we can. We can also note that the stories we tell ourselves shape our view of the world and whether they are helpful. My experience has been that when you understand what’s most important to you, you can let go and drop a number of ideas and practices if they no longer serve a purpose. You’re also allowed to keep a few quirky features.
There are no perfectly engineered cities, and there are no perfect people. Give yourself some slack.