Heretics Can’t Go Home
A used passport, books, and foreign dishes will change a person. Reading, food, and travel have been the gateways of discovery for me. In a sense, these elements have introduced irreversible chemical changes to who I am on a spiritual level. Like most people, my journey has included deep questions about my life, career, and faith.
“Where am I going? Why do I believe this? Am I on the right path? Is there something in my life that needs to change?”
I continue to hold some core beliefs, but there are several things that I've left behind. Leaving a belief has never been easy because some of them are considered key in the community of faith that I come from. I’ll offer some examples: I don’t believe the Bible is without contradictions, I don’t believe that Hell is a place for souls to be tortured for all eternity, I don’t believe in rapture, and I believe that the church should receive the LGBTQ2S+ community and allow them to participate in the full life of the church. This means that, in some circles… I‘m a heretic. It’s a term that has a sting to it.
"a professed believer who maintains religious opinions contrary to those accepted by their church or rejects doctrines prescribed by that church."
It’s an uncomfortable adjective because a heretic is often associated with disloyalty—a quality I never want to be associated with. I can only speak for myself here, but I didn’t actively pursue the identity of a modern-day heretic. Here’s what happened.
I read books, and I studied. People from all over the world came into my life, and I listened to their stories. I’ve had life-changing experiences, and I believe that the most honest thing I could do was adapt to new information. Adaptations have helped humanity not only survive but thrive all over the world. Being able to adapt is also an important quality for someone who loves to travel.
But as much as I’ve loved the journey, there are times when I look back over my shoulder, and feelings of nostalgia catch up to me and tap me on the shoulder. In those moments, I find myself wondering if I’d be happier if I could go back to the start and enjoy the comforts of the familiar. I also wish I could return to a time when my faith had megachurch appeal.
Here’s the thing. Some chemical changes can’t be reversed. If you bake a cake, you cannot return it to flour, sugar, or eggs. Once you’ve grilled a steak until it’s well done, you can’t do anything to get it back to medium rare.
Heretics can’t go home. We have to make new ones.
Friend, keep walking forward. It’s ok to love where you came from, but you must keep exploring and changing. There’s more trail ahead, more lessons to learn, and new friends to make. The moment your faith stops growing is the same moment it ceases to be faith. You don’t need to make this journey on your own. Look for fellow travelers and enjoy the walk.